1981

By this time it was pretty evident Barbara and I were headed for marriage.. just a few minor things to work out. Susan had custody of my two kids but I had them every other weekend. Of course Barbara had custody of her two. We participated in every school activity they were involved in including ball games home and away. Neither of us had a car large enough to transport the whole crew so we had to be a bit creative. Sometimes to make an out of town game we had to borrow a car. I was amazed at how many people were so eager to help.

Sometime around April 1981 we learned things were a little rocky at my ex wife’s place. By this time she had sold our house and moved into an apartment. Shannon asked me several times if she could come live with me. During the same period of time we had put Barbara’s house on the market. Things were happening fast. By this time we had decided to get married and had set a date of June 12th. Now we had to find a place to move into. . We heard about a five bedroom house that was going on the market. It was an older, very old, house that had been redone several times but it had five bedrooms and that’s pretty much all we cared about. I made arrangements to look at it and wrote them a thousand dollar earnest money check on the spot. I told the people it was no good and asked them to please hold it til closing.

Keep in mind I was traveling during this time and trying to keep things going at home. I returned from Shreveport La. one Thursday night and had barely got my bag unpacked when I received a call from Shannon. She asked if I could come pick up her and Cameron and maybe go for a coke. I agreed but told her to get it cleared with her mother. I reminded her the upcoming weekend was mine to be with them but she said no matter she wanted to see me NOW. I suspected something was up… She and Cameron had barely gotten in the car when she said. ” Dad I’m not going back”. According to her ,things had gotten unbearable with her mother. I called. Her mother and thought I convinced her to let me have them a day early. She also suspected something was up and quickly showed up on my doorstep. She had her boyfriend with her, a big fight ensued, he had to put his two cents in, it was just ugly. Barbara was there so she kept Cameron away from the fight. Finally things settled down and she agreed to let me keep them until Monday. The next morning I was on the phone with a lawyer. Keep in mind in that day and time it was almost impossible for a father to get child custody over a mother. I knew of one case where that happened and it was very recent. Barbara, me and our attorney Victor Pryor did some investigating and decided we could do it. I was barely on speaking terms with Susan but I told her Shannon was old enough to make up her own mind, she relented but demanded I bring Cameron back to her so I did.

During all this I was trying to work at my job which involved traveling, buy a house, help Barbara sell her house and maintain sanity. Things quieted down for a short time. We were planning our case for court and the trial date was coming up soon. One morning I received a call from Susan. She asked if she could come pick up Shannon and take her shopping. No way I said. ” our court case is next week and as you know she will be testifying against you for me to gain custody of Cameron.” She said ” oh I guess you haven’t heard I went to my lawyers office and signed the papers relinquishing custody to you”. I was stunned. I called Victor to confirm and he said ” I was just about to call you and tell you this”. Barbara and I were elated. We were within striking distance of putting this all together. Between her and my mother and others they were able to care for my kids while I was away at work.

Barbara and I have always believed there was Devine intervention at work for us to be able to put this whole thing together , as confusing as it was and in the short time we had before our wedding date. Shortly after getting custody of the kids Barbara’s house sold, and our loan to buy the five bedroom house was approved. We knew we were paying too much for the old house but Oklahoma was in the middle of a huge oil boom and prices were through the roof. for all these things to fall in place so quickly I strongly believe a stronger power was at work.

The day before our wedding it occurred to us we had no rings. That was just not right. We drove to Wewoka and bought simple gold wedding bands. Barbara still wears hers today. I would, except for the fact I lost it ,about seven years ago.

We actually moved into the house a week before the wedding. Well everyone but me. My kids both insisted they should get to move in with Barbara and her kids. I would go there and stay til bedtime then go home and sleep. On our wedding day a major waterline broke in Holdenville so there was no water at our house. Between Barbara’s mothers house and my mothers house everyone was able to get showered and ready. We were married in a small ceremony in the chapel of our church. We had all four kids stand with us for the ceremony. We felt like it was a family marriage. After the wedding we drove to Tulsa for a mini two night honeymoon. It was all we could afford, but it was great.

Things really worked out for us but the fight was far from over. I had to do something about my job. The traveling was not good for a marriage, certainly a blended marriage. I was approached by a guy I knew about helping him build a house for an oil man there in Holdenville. I talked to my supervisor at Kingsbury and he suggested I take a leave of absence. That way my health insurance would continue and maybe I would be better equipped to make a decision a few months down the road. Great idea. I was just blown away by how many people were so willing to help us. It didn’t stop there, for several years, until we were pretty well on our way, many people helped us In Numerous ways. The beauty of a small town.

Next Blending a family Yes it’s a challenge.