Evan The final chapter

For weeks and weeks Evan was in the icu unit at children’s hospital. Every trip to see him I would pray all the way from the garage up the elevator and through the ICU doors that he would have awaken. He never did. I remember another family there and their son was also comatose. I remember each day we would ask each other if there was good news. I remember after several weeks their son woke up. I remember how elated they were and how they encouraged us. It was not to be. Each day as we came into the room we would ask Stacy for the latest doctors report. She spent every hour every day there. She knew all there was to know. I can’t remember the date but a meeting was called by the doctors to talk to the family. We knew it wasn’t gonna be good. They began by explaining to us how it is when the brain bleeds. They explained how ones own blood will literally destroy the brain. After some technical talk he finally said what we all feared. He said Evans brain was devastated. He said Evan might live but he would never again Be Evan. I listened, I tried to learn, I tried to believe what he said but I couldn’t. I just could not give up. in my mind if there was a breath there was hope. They told us the plan was to move him to the children’s center in Bethany. They are equipped to deal with children in Evans condition.

I should explain here I don’t think I’ve made myself clear as far as Evans parents. Early on,I’m not sure how old Evan was, Cameron and Stacy were divorced. After a time Cameron remarried to Emily Stewart Then a little after that Stacy remarried to Michael Neely. Evan and Ashton lived in Moore with Stacy and Michael. Cameron And Emily lived in The country near Purcell and had the kids every other weekend and during the summer. I am very proud of both the step parents. They loved the kids and were very good parents to them through good and bad times.

After being admitted to the children’s center Evan underwent a whole new battery of tests. I don’t believe I ever heard one positive report. I was there one day while they were testing him for sound, for light, for touch and on and on. He responded to nothing. They moved him back to Children’s hospital once to run MRI’s ,C scans and every thing they could think of. Nothing. I had never been down this road before and had no idea what to expect. I guess I always thought if one was in a coma they would just lie there with a blank stare. Not so.. Evan would twist and squirm. He would appear to be in pain. He would cry. At times he would smile. I’ve seen him in contortions with the most painful look on his face you can ever imagine. It was torture to watch. There are no words to explain how hard it was to watch and bless her heart Stacy never wavered. She held him she talked to him she tried everything to calm him. I would have to leave the room but not her she never left him. God bless her.

I’m not sure but I believe it was July of 2012, they told us there was no hope, there was nothing left to do. They said it was time to bring in Hospice and move him home. Arrangements were made and he was transported home. Stacy put him in a hospital bed in the front bedroom of her home. All the supplies she needed to care for him were there along with a large picture of LaBron James and an OU banner on the wall. Stacy had a good support system. Her mother Betty, many friends, one in particular Christy who was responsible for getting us hooked up with Dr Elkins. She tried in every way to make him comfortable. She even secured a wheel chair that would allow him to lie back in a reclining position. She hoped he would enjoy being in the living room watching a football game with the family. It didn’t work he was very restless and didn’t calm down til he got back in his bed.

Earlier in my story I said I would tell you later how I know Evan is in heaven, here’s how I know. Even though I never once gave up on Evan, I always expected a miracle, I was bothered by the fact I knew Evan had never professed his faith. I kept thinking, but he’s a child. I have always been taught you had be saved in order to get into heaven. I knew Evan had not been. I talked to a friend of mine who is the most spiritual man I know. He assured me that Evan would go to heaven. I read the Bible, I looked up opinions of spiritual experts but still I was a bit uncertain. One Saturday while visiting with Evan I was in the room with him all alone. I moved to the side of the bed where I could see his face and hold his hand. I kneeled by the side of his bed and took his hand. I started praying aloud. I had my eyes closed. I had been praying for a few minutes when I felt him squeeze my hand. I opened my eyes. Evan was looking at me with the biggest smile on his face. I had seen him smile before but not like that. It was a natural smile it looked as though he was perfectly healthy. His eyes were alive. Not the hollow look we had been seeing for months but natural. I smiled with tears in my eyes and I said” Evan are you with Jesus”? His smile got even bigger and brighter he held if for a bit longer and then he faded back to where he had been. You can tell me it was just a coincidence, you can tell me I imagined it you can explain all the scientific facts that say it could not happen. I KNOW IT HAPPENED. I saw it I felt it, I saw the look in his eyes. There is nothing anyone can say to take that away from me. I know heaven is real, I know Evan is there and I know I will see him when I get there. I just don’t know if he will be the 15 year old boy that left us or the 21 year old man he’s become.

On December 6th 2012 early in the morning I got the call from Cameron. ” Dad Stacy just called Evan is gone”. Evan died early that morning. He was in the arms of his mom who had been by his side for over 11 months. She had called the hospice nurse and her lifelong friend Christy. They were there to help her through it.

Never had anything hurt so badly, but I couldn’t help but be thankful that his suffering was over. It’s been six years and I still wake up in the night thinking about him. Even though we always knew his health problems may come back we never really accepted it. I miss him terribly. Our family has never been the same since he left. I know there was a reason but I will never understand why he had to go. That’s my Evan story. I wish you could have known him.

I love you Evan I’ll see you one day